Showing posts with label empowerment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empowerment. Show all posts

Monday, February 25, 2013

Be the Change...



The world is changing. I see it all around me.

More and more women are focusing on heart-centered living, embarking on a soul journey that takes them deeper within themselves, creating more meaning in their lives.

It’s beautiful to watch as they grow and blossom into more vibrant versions of themselves.

Often when they begin to evolve and flourish their relationships begin to change as well. Women feel that they want their connection with their partners to reflect the depth of their personal growth.

It leaves men in a bit of a pickle. If before they found it difficult to understand where their partner was coming from, imagine their confusion with a more self-aware spouse.

I’ve always fancied myself a bit of a champion of men. In the past when male-bashing was popular I would speak up empathetically on their behalf. And now as I see women moving through their soul journeys, I’ve noticed that there isn’t a lot of support for men on a personal level.

Women have found many resources and outlets in order to have a voice that is heard, to speak their truth and to be validated in the world.

Where, though, is the safe haven for men to express their emotions, their deepest desires? Where is their support system to help them find their voice, to discover their passion, to release their pain? Where is their support and counsel on how to live a heart-centered life, to create the deeper, more meaningful relationship that their partner desires?

As I have been reflecting on these questions, I realized that I can help. I have the tools and skills to guide men through the unfamiliar territory of emotional awareness. I can create the safe space for them to touch on long hidden barriers to a life of passion, depth and immeasurable love. I can help them face the fears that keep deep-seated emotions locked away.

The time has come for the perfect balance of masculine and feminine energies. We are moving in a world of more equality for women and men. And we all could use a little help now and then to reach a peaceful balance, a partnership that just feels good.

Men need this now. Let’s give them the support they need and deserve so that they have the opportunity to be the kind of partners we, as women, know they can be. Most men want to do the right thing, they just don’t always know what that is. Let’s give them the chance to find out.

With love and kindness
Bettina

To find out more about my program for men go to: www.thesoulconnection.ca

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Recognizing Ego Behaviour


The Ego is a trickster. Its main job is to create problems for without problems, suffering and pain the ego would not exist. It keeps us in a state of suffering as long as we listen to it and believe in what it is trying to sell us. Buddhists call it the “monkey mind”, A Course in Miracles calls it “the wrong mind” and I sometimes see it as a scam artist trying to sell something that is neither real nor beneficial for too high a price.


In order to find peace in our lives we need to stop listening to the ego’s tall tales and drop down into a deeper place where our inner voice, source, soul or spirit is speaking truth, love and wisdom. It is this “mind” we need to pay attention to when looking for resolution, contentment and love.

Below is a table that indicates some of the different types of ego behavior that we can often get caught up in. Beside it is the source behavior that will bring us to our peace.
Each aspect of ego behavior gives us something we think we are lacking. For example when we gossip about others we are usually just trying to make ourselves feel and look better to others. We can bypass the ego’s story that we aren’t good enough in the first place and settle into the connection to our source which only knows light and love. Our worthiness never comes into question in that place.

You can use the following list as a guide in your daily life. Get used to questioning those ego thoughts and feelings. Think of the ego as the door to door salesman – a health amount of skepticism will go far.

Ego behavior:

Source behavior:

Gossiping

Sharing good things about others

Yelling at someone

Compassion

Taking up all the space in a room

Being okay with silence –  share the space

Needing to be right and make someone else wrong

Acceptance

Revenge

Love

Hatred

Peace

Drama

Letting go

Judgment of others or yourself
Self-worth
Creating problems

Looking at the opportunities in situations

Taking things personally

Seeing all sides of an issue

Being what you think others want you to be - Saying yes when you want to say no

Being authentic

Being afraid of people, events, circumstances, thoughts – victim mentality

Feeling empowered

Manipulating or controlling others – or trying to

Allowing life to unfold (as opposed to controlling it)

Finding fault in someone else

Finding the good in others

Bullying
Empowering others




 With love and kindness
Bettina

For more information about one-on-one sessions, workshops and classes go to: http://www.thesoulconnection.ca

Monday, April 9, 2012

The Divine Goddess - Living it every day


Last week I had the privilege of facilitating my favourite workshop, Connecting with the Divine Goddess Within. Spending the evening with some amazing women who are committed to learning about self-care and how it can create such space and love, not to mention a feeling of true empowerment within.

We often get caught up in life and the constant movement that it seems to require to keep our heads above water day to day. We rarely take the time to stop and really see all the amazing and wonderful things that life hands us while we’re busy doing other things.

John Lennon wrote, “Life is what happens when we’re busy making plans.” And isn’t that the truth? We are so busy going from one task to the next, one day we wake up and our kids have left the nest, we’re ready to retire and we haven’t a clue what life is all about because we’ve filled it with doing.

Women are especially susceptible to the doing versus the being. They spend their lives nurturing, feeding, clothing, driving, working, listening, advising, organizing and coordinating and it becomes who we are.

It’s time to recognize that who we are has nothing to do with what we do. That the strength that we show when we are constantly running or holding someone’s hand is not the same as being empowered. And we often find ourselves feeling resentful because we are doing too much, we’re tired and fed up and we just want a few minutes to ourselves.

It isn’t until we stop and really look at the fact that we say yes more times than we’d like (and then kick ourselves for doing so), we spend more time doing unnecessary tasks, or tasks that can be handed off, that we don’t clearly ask for help from our family and friends when we need it, that we can really understand that the resentment we feel is directed towards ourselves because we feel powerless to speak up for ourselves.

Once we, as women, begin to carve out time each day to nurture that ever important relationship with ourselves, to do the things that we are passionate about, to spend time in contemplation and meditation, to look in the mirror and understand what it is to truly love the person looking back at us and to create a space in which we live that supports self-care, we will feel empowered. We will have the inner strength to speak up when we feel we are not being treated in a way that reflects our self-worth. We will be able to say no when we need and want to without feeling guilt. And we will be able to do all of this effectively with love and grace. In doing this we are connecting to our Divine Goddess within.

What can you think of that you can change today in order to take more time for yourself? Just change one thing today and see the amazing difference it can make. Know you are worth it!

With love and kindness
Bettina

Monday, October 24, 2011

Happy, Healthy Kids


Happy, Healthy Kids Come from Happy Healthy Parents

A parent’s biggest desire is for their children to be happy, healthy and well-adjusted. They spend their lives working hard to make it a reality. They only want what’s best for their children and all their decisions about them are based on this fact.

Children are very intuitive and perceptive and they can sense the truth in any situation. They can see past the smiling and assurances that things are fine and know when there is something amiss or not quite right. They feel your tension when you are stressed and will pick up on it, perhaps even taking the stress on themselves. And they won’t know how to deal with it unless you show them.

Being a healthy, happy, well-adjusted parent is the best way to raise healthy, happy, well-adjusted children. Parents are a child’s first and most important role model and the best method of teaching them how to be in life is by example.

Here are five ways to raise happy, healthy children:

  1. Give your children a voice. Let them express how they feel without judgment so they can learn to address their issues in a healthy way and know that what they have to say is of value.
  2. Be aware of how you interact with your partner (or ex-partner). Have compassion, clarity and be open to hear what they have to say so that conflict can be resolved in a healthy way. Your children will learn how to function in a relationship when the time comes.
  3. Allow them to make choices when it comes to which activities they want to be involved in or how they want to handle different situations in their lives. When a child is allowed to make their own choice and take the consequences good or bad, it develops their sense of responsibility and they make healthier choices. When you make choices for them it can cause resentment.
  4. Inspire your children before the fact rather than punish them afterwards. Show them the way by taking care of your own stresses and issues in a healthy way. Support them in what they do and let them do it themselves. This can build their self-worth far more effectively than any words you could say.
  5. Create a safe place for your children to be all that they are without judgment or criticism. Let them know that they don’t have to be afraid to share anything with you because they will not be judged. Have compassion, understanding and kindness.

If a parent takes care of themselves in mind, body and spirit, their children will see this and realize it is worthwhile to do so for themselves. Lead by example.

Happy Parenting!

With love and kindness
Bettina

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Be the Change You Want to See in the World


These amazing words are attributed to Ghandi, a man who knew inner peace in spite of how his people were treated. His protests over their treatment were always peaceful and passive. He believed in turning the other cheek.

This peacefulness worked like a charm to help change India for the better. British authorities were so baffled by Ghandi’s peaceful nature that they had no idea how to fight him.

It’s such a great example of his words. Be the change you want to see in the world.

You can’t change anyone else. You can only change your reaction to others, your beliefs about yourself and the world around you.

How often do you find yourself saying, “If only my wife (husband, children, boss, parents or whoever) would change life would be so much better for me.” It’s a very common syndrome – change others to find peace and happiness.

When you find yourself wishing someone else would change, think about what it is you think you’ll get if they do change. Happiness? Peace? Love? Relief from guilt? Contentment? Success?

How many times have you wished someone would change so you’d be happier and then when they do, you realize you aren’t happier at all?

Is it all coming together now? Are you getting that happiness doesn’t come from someone else?

That’s right. We are responsible for connecting to our own happiness, peace, love, success, security, contentment. We are born knowing these feelings. Somewhere along the line life teaches us to forget that innate connection.

It’s up to us to remember who we are, to reconnect to the joy, love, peace, passion. wisdom, success, security, compassion and vision that is our birthright.

Next time you find yourself wishing someone else would change, ask yourself what feeing you’re looking for and then look inside to see what you can change to connect to it.

It’s like looking in a mirror – what you see in the world is what you’re feeling inside.

And if you want the world to change, make the changes you want to see.

With love and kindness
Bettina

Join us for a great girl's night out! The Inner and Outer Beauty Connection - a workshop for women. We'll talk about inner beauty and how it affects our ability to see ourselves as beautiful on the outside. And we're going to be doing facials with fabulous Arbonne products. Even more exciting - you'll be going home with a goody bag. Register before Aug. 1 and save $5 and get a free gift. http://www.thesoulconnection.ca/workshops.html

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Out of the Mouths of Babes

After listening to a young teenager speak at a meeting last night about his choice to live a conscious life, I was blessed with a fresh and welcome perspective on what kids want in life. They want to feel they are trusted enough to make their own healthy, responsible decisions, to be heard when they want to share their perspective and to feel they are valued.

I wonder how many times my children wanted to question something I asked them to do and I dismissed them with, “Because I said so!” Or how many other parents do this very same thing.

As parents we are supposed to be “the authority” on life, having lived it for quite some time before our children arrived on the scene. And we love our children so much we want the best for them, to see them happy, successful and healthy.

But we don’t always consider that things that make us feel happy, healthy and successful are not necessarily the things that will make our children feel it. And our “loving gesture” of maybe a little to forcefully guiding them, may be the very thing that is pushing them away.

Wayne Dyer talks about the art of “non-interference”, which is simply allowing others to make their own choices and to live with the results those choices bring. It’s very hard, as parents to do this, but it is the one thing that will allow them to be independent and empowered in this world.

Inside every child is an abundance of wisdom just busting to be shared. And yet most people don’t consider a child’s knowledge as valuable. “I know better”, “believe me, I have made these mistakes and I don’t want you to make them same ones.”

You know how painful some of your choices were and you are actually parenting them through your pain. But there is no better teacher, no more valuable tool than to give your children the opportunity to make their own mistakes and learn the lessons that those choices may give them.

Children have an innate sense of right and wrong, of responsible choices and often when they open their mouths, there is a maturity that shines through that may just surprise you.

Teach your children to express themselves without anger, to share their vulnerability without fear and to choose their direction in life. Chances are they will turn out just fine!

Let your children have a voice and connect with them from your open heart without taking things personally.

And watch with complete acceptance as these precious gifts from God show you how its done!

With love and kindness
Bettina

Enjoy an afternoon out with your girlfriends at a fun workshop: The Inner and Outer Beauty Connection. We’ll talk about beauty from the inside out and we’re going to do facials with some great Arbonne products! Register before July 10 and receive a free gift as well as $5 off the cost of the workshop.
To find out more or register go to: www.thesoulconnection.ca/workshops.html

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Removing the Mask of Anger


You’re driving down the street and someone cuts you off. You feel your blood boil and you hear some expletive coming from your mouth.

Your husband or wife says something to you and suddenly you feel irritated and want to snap back at them.

Your kids are out of control and you start yelling at them trying to regain some sense of order.

You’re at work and your boss starts yelling at you for some mistake you’ve made or bit of work you didn’t complete and you want to tell him off.

These are all examples of when anger can take over a situation. It can be very toxic to us if we suppress it and toxic to others if we project it. No one wants to be the recipient of someone else’s anger.

So what is anger all about? The dictionary defines anger as a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong, wrath, ire”. And this may be true but looking back to the 12th century, the roots of the word is connected to the old Norse word angr meaning sorrow, grief, the Old High German word angust meaning far and even the Latin word angor which means anguish.

Having read this, it made great sense as anger is merely a mask for something deeper that we are feeling, for instance fear, guilt, sadness or shame.

Behind each expression or feeling of anger, there is something more and if we can use the rising anger to show us the way, we can tune in to the emotions that are feeding it.

We often use anger as a way to show our strength, but it really is a weakness. It’s the mask we hide behind when we are feeling fearful and can’t face a situation from a truthful and perhaps vulnerable place.

It’s funny and may seem almost backward but when we let our guard down and speak to others from a more vulnerable place, situations can be resolved in a loving peaceful way. Imagine that!

The next time you feel anger starting to erupt from inside, take a breath, look at what is really behind it. What are you afraid of? What are you trying to hide from others, or from yourself?

Remove the mask of anger and empower yourself to live in truth. You’ll be surprised at how much better it works for you!

With love and kindness
Bettina


For more information about one-on-one coaching sessions, workshops and meditation go to: http://www.thesoulconnection.ca Sign up for our newsletter and get a free meditation download.

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Truth is in Silence


Life these days consists of cell phones, social networking, computers, TV’s, radios and all that dull white noise that we have gotten so used to that we don’t even notice it.

Sometimes, it’s almost to hectic to breathe and we long for some peace, a little silence, a break from the constant movement, busyness and chaos that life throws at us.

So what do we do? Where do we find our peace of mind? The answer is in the silence.

In the silence we can relax, let go of stress, worry and fear. Without the outward distractions we have a chance to take a good honest look at where we’re at, what we’re feeling and why we’re feeling it. We can examine what we consider our weaknesses and find ways to feel stronger and more confident. In the silence is the truth of who we are and what is keeping us from connecting to it.

The silence brings more clarity. We see things we didn’t notice before. We hear things we’ve never heard and we acknowledge what we have ignored for a long time.

It can rock us gently into a peaceful bliss that we may never have known before and allow us to accept whatever is right in front of us.

Out of the silence screams of our uncomfortable feelings come to the surface so we can heal and soothe our wounded self.

The need for constant distraction drops away and we recognize how much we enjoy our own company. We discover the love we’ve always wanted to feel and are astonished that it has been within us all along.

We wrap ourselves in the comforting blanket of silence that seems to teach us gently and without judgment everything we ever needed to know.

Yes, there is a deeper truth that lies in silence – a truth that cannot be found on Facebook or Twitter, nor is it broadcast on radio or TV. It is the truth of our authentic divine self.

There’s not another experience quite like it in the world.

With love and kindness
Bettina


Are you unhappy with some part of your life? : Check our website at: www.thesoulconnection.ca for more information about our upcoming workshops, seminars, products and one-on-one, couples or group sessions.