Monday, October 3, 2011

Guest Blogger

This is the first time I've had a guest blogger, but I was so moved by this story that it gently nudged me into having one this week.
Carrie Klassen is woman with a huge heart, a real soul connection, someone who can put pen to paper and create not only a story but draw you in and let you feel exactly what it's like to have experienced whatever it is she is describing. This story is one of those. I hope you are as inspired as I was when I read it.

Be admirable.

by Carrie Klassen

Coming out of the grocery store this afternoon, I merged onto the sidewalk behind a really attractive couple. Hurrying to get my frozen blueberries home, I passed them but when I heard a man raise his voice, I turned around to see him angrily yank her arm, trying to hold her in place. She pulled it free and moved to get around him, but he gripped her shoulders so she couldn’t pass. I started walking towards them, having no idea what I would do, and wishing – just for those moments – that I were a man. Someone with height and breadth and physical strength that a 102lb, 5’3” woman just doesn’t have. But in only the time it took me to imagine what I’d look like 6’4” and male, they were holding hands again. I tried to catch her eye so I could ask if she were okay, but we didn’t connect. I let them pass and then followed behind them. Watching. Readying my phone should I need to make a call.

I could hear him apologizing (where moments before, he’d been demanding her apology) and she leaned into him on their walk. She wasn’t in danger, but she wasn’t in a good place. I did my best to send her a telepathic message: “You deserve better than this.”

In the pre-Keith years, I made some very poor choices in my relationships that I generally keep to myself. One man punched me in the face. I refused to see him again but that I got myself in a situation like that should have been a warning sign. I’ve had my arm yanked in public, as hers was (and was mortified when friends saw and made efforts to assure them it was nothing). I’ve been pushed and shoved. I’ve been cornered. I’ve been spit on. Heading up Parliament Street,  little scenes over so many years came to me at once. An ugly constellation. And a pattern I was too close to at the time to see.

I didn’t even realize I’d been in unsafe places (and by "unsafe", I mean that state where you never get to fully exhale.. where a part of you is always wondering will he leave/will he be drunk/will he get angry?/etc) until years later. Until I saw what Unsafe looked like from the ease and comfort and joy of Safe. Until, in some ways, this afternoon, seeing a small part of my old story in someone else's plot.

And so, this is a note to all of my women friends, asking them to take care of themselves and to keep their standards high. To know that it’s okay to change their minds. To lose their tolerance for disappointment and disrespect. To take good stock.

Thanks to Keith, I’ve come to understand what it really is to be a woman loved.

Women, it’s not being intimidated or bullied or treated with indifference. It’s not control masquerading as desire. It doesn’t make you cry in the shower so no one knows. It doesn’t require you to make excuses for him. 

And men, the good men in my circle of friends, look at the women around you and do what you can to remind them of their God-given worthiness. This can be a hard world for women and you never know what's being said to them behind closed doors (and repeated in their own minds). Be good to your mothers. Treat your relationships as holy and let us see that. Let other men see that. Speak kindly of your partner when she’s not there. Be gracious with your physical strength.

Above all, be admirable. 

I admire my husband with such fullness of heart that it's like love, doubled. Now that I know it's possible, I want everyone to feel like this. Especially my friends. xoxo

Carrie is also the amazing creator of Pink Elephant Communications. I have been lucky enough to have her assist me with making improvements to my website and it was a great experience well worth every moment she shared with me. So for any of you entrepreneurs out there, I highly recommend you check out her website here!

And please be sure to check out my website for information about coaching, meditation and Reiki, workshops and coming soon helpful products to make your life all that you desire it to be. The Soul Connection.

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