Monday, February 22, 2010

The Flip Side

We usually look at experiences and relationships from our own perspective. Of course this is how it should be as it is our perspective through which we are seeing all of life.

But it can get us into trouble at times. And it can cause us some pain especially if we take what someone else says or does too personally. It's probably wise to remember that whatever someone else says or does comes through their own filter of whatever pain or joy they are feeling in that moment.

Whether we are triggered by it or feel good about it, it's also probably coming through our own filter of pain or joy. Of course it doesn't always feel good, but that's what life is all about - the joy and the pain.

We can get caught up in what the other person has done and take it very personally as if it is something that has been done intentionally to against us. But is that really the truth?

More often than not - ok usually always - if someone says something that hurts you, there is probably something more going on with that person than what is showing on the surface.

Why not take a look at things from the other person's perspective, trying to imagine what they might be going through or feeling to create the behavior. Maybe they are going through a rough time and don't know how to expel the feelings of frustration or fear. Maybe, they have just received some bad news, someone in their family has died, or they are just plain not feeling good about themselves on this particular day.

If we can look at things from the other person's perspective, we are less apt to take what they say or do personally and in doing so, we can have compassion for what they might be going through or feeling and give them the space to allow it to run its course.

Meeting anger, resentment, fear or guilt with kindness and compassion can diffuse any possible explosion that might occur if both parties are reacting from their pain.

The next time you experience conflict with another person, try to see the flip side and imagine what the other person might be feeling. It can be the difference between pain and peace.

If you are interested in our weekly meditation classes or private one-on-one, group or couples sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

Monday, February 15, 2010

And the Band Played On

In the movie Titanic, while the ship was sinking and passengers were running scared and panicked to find a way to save their lives, the band stoically stood on deck and continued playing. It was a small gesture to try to bring some peace to a chaotic situation.

In life, we often find ourselves in the midst of chaos, or at the very least, things are not going as we envisioned. We scramble to try to make sense of what is happening, often try to control the situation and even try to change the outcome. Sometimes that brings us even more struggle and we're no farther ahead then we were before.

One thing that we often don't realize during this struggle and chaos is that we have a band of our own playing within us. It is always there behind the pain, the anguish and the questions that life puts before us. It is peace.

When we are going through tough times, we find ourselves wishing that we could have just a moment's peace from what is going on. The ego or chattering mind often wants to keep us in a state of chaos, it is our sinking ship. Do we want to listen to the ego? Or do we want to connect to our source which provides us with unlimited peace?

We have a choice. We don't always believe we do or we don't always like the choices we have but we always have a choice. We can listen to the ego that loves chaos, fear, anger and guilt or we can listen to our heart and feel the peace, love and joy that come from our source.

Struggle or peace - which will you choose?

If you are interested in our weekly meditation classes, workshops or private one-on-one sessions please visit our website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Valentine's Day - Not Just for Lover's Anymore

Some people love Valentine's Day and yet others would rather it didn't exist claiming it is merely another money making scheme of the greeting card companies.

But it is a day when we can celebrate the love we have for our spouse, partner, family and friends and most importantly for ourselves. Another argument to that would be that we should be remembering to do that every day of the year. And although this is true, it not always occurs.

So let's talk about why. Relationships are tricky things. They often start off with a bang - passion, fire, romance and love. We feel all these things with our new mate and we love the feeling that it brings us. But we don't always understand that the love and passion we feel isn't coming from the other person. It is our own love and passion that we feel within us and the other person is merely reflecting the love back to us, bringing it up for us.

Staying connected to this love isn't always easy. Stuff comes up - life happens and we don't always handle it in the best way. We do, however, handle it in the best way WE know how and so it is perfect.

It gives us the opportunity to let go of those things so we can again feel the connection and every day can be Valentine's Day. We can feel that same wonderful feeling that we felt at the beginning of our relationship because it is in us all the time whether we are with someone or single.

Even though we enjoy life and being with our partner every day, we still celebrate the day we were born or the day we were married each year. It doesn't mean we only acknowledge it on that day, but we take the time to celebrate it with honor.

Whether you are single or with someone Valentine's Day is a wonderful reminder to us to stay connected to the unlimited supply of love we have inside that we can share with not only our partner but the world. Embrace the day and feel the love you have so the world can see and feel it too.

Happy Valentine's Day with love...

Bettina

If you are interested in our weekly meditation classes, one-on-one, couple or family sessions please call River Oaks Chiropractic and Wellness Clinic at 905-257-9960.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

You Can Run But You Can't Hide

There are many ways in which we run from our problems. We find distractions such as food, drink, gambling, sex, partying, television, you name it and there is a distraction for everyone.
We sometimes think that these things will distract us and help us to forget our problems, but the unfortunate thing is that these distractions only serve to prolong the inevitable which is facing our problems and issues head on.
Say you have broken up with your partner or spouse. This is a devastating situation and can bring up all sorts of emotions from anger to guilt and sadness. We can grab that carton of ice cream or head to the bar with our buddies but that only masks the emotions temporarily.
Eventually they will arise and hit you right in the heart often at the least appropriate moment. We are driving down the road and someone cuts us off and the anger coming rushing out at the other driver. Or we are at work and our boss criticizes something we’ve done and we run to the bathroom in tears. Does this sound familiar?
What can we do to avoid this kind of situation from arising? We sometimes think that there is nothing that we can do to prevent it and yet many people do.
We can vent to our friends about what is bothering us and put the blame on someone else and boy doesn’t it feel good to have them agree with us and tell us what a jerk that guy was or what a bitch she was. But that good feeling is fleeting and doesn’t last.
If we had no one to vent to, what would happen? The emotions would all be stuck inside us trying to push their way up and in the silence of our own space, they become deafening and hard to ignore.
Take some time to be in silence with what has happened, allow yourself to feel what wants to come up and acknowledge it without judgment. Don’t hide from the emotions that need to be nurtured and felt. By running away, they are always chasing you. Stop running and find the compassion for yourself to feel it all and then it is much easier to let it go along with the belief that has created it.
Joy comes from the honesty about what you’re feeling and the compassionate release of it all.
Recognize the addiction that is your distraction from feeling the pain. This will be your freedom and will lead you to joy.
If you are interested in our weekly meditation classes, one-on-one, couple or family sessions please call River Oaks Chiropractic and Wellness Clinic at 905-257-9960.
Bettina

Monday, February 1, 2010

Out of the Wreckage Comes Love

With all that has been happening in Haiti these past few weeks, the focus has been on helping the people there to rebuild what has been destroyed in the earthquakes. They have suffered losses of lives, injuries, losses of homes and the emotional anguish that they are experiencing must be devastating.

But even though it may be hard to admit that it could have brought forth something good, there has definitely been some beauty that has arisen from this tragedy. People have come together in love and peace to help those who have been affected by the earthquakes. They have put aside their differences and become united in their efforts to help.

In our own lives we sometimes feel that things have fallen apart, and we lie helpless beneath the heaviness of our own pain. We find it difficult to smile or feel the happiness and gratitude for what we have. We often get so caught up in the negative things that are happening that we forget about all the good things in our lives.

But without feeling pain or going through adversity, we may never understand what true love is - the love that comes from the deepest part of ourselves, the love that is our connection to our source, unending, unconditional and absolute.

It is in allowing ourselves to fully feel this pain, sometimes more painful than anything we’ve ever felt, that brings us through the wreckage of our lives and leads us to this love.

Unless we face the darkness, we cannot fully understand the light. Unless we feel our pain, we cannot know what it is like to be healed. And in this healing we learn compassion, unconditional love and we feel the joy of this experience called life.

If you are interested in our monthly Spiritual Group Meetings, workshops or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina