Thursday, February 26, 2009

What We Focus on Fills Our Vision

When we focus on our pain, or a belief that we have of ourselves, we cannot see anything else that is going on around us. We cannot feel compassion for ourselves or for others. When we focus on one thing, it becomes bigger than life.

If we feel we are unworthy, we can focus on that and we can collect tons of evidence to substantiate this belief. The more evidence we collect, the more we focus on the unworthiness. The more we focus on it the more it becomes the centre of our whole life, how we behave and who we think we are.

We can just as easily look at the feeling of being worthy and collect evidence to back that up. But we don't. Why is it that we are so good at focusing on and finding evidence to back up our negative beliefs and we ignore the positive ones?

The reason is because our fear is not that we are not good enough, but that we are greatness itself. We fear this knowledge because we think it will make others uncomfortable. We tend to dull ourselves down in order to make other people happy, but it doesn't work. When we look inside and realize that we are greatness, without thinking it makes us better than someone else, we can see that we are all a part of the same greatness, experiencing life in different ways.

We look at our pain and focus on it, making our world so much smaller and the pain so much bigger than it is. We live our lives through this pain because it is all that we see. It has filled our vision.

Once we let go of the pain and change our focus to the big picture - what is happening outside of the pain - we can be free to feel the joy of peace and love. We can have compassion for others who are focused on their own pain. And we can show them the way out of the pain to the beauty of the world around them.

This week, take a look at what you are focusing on. Is it the pain? Or is it the love? Do you only see the world through your mistaken belief? Or do you see the world through eyes of love and compassion? Try to change your focus from mistaken belief to the big picture, what is going on in the world around you from different aspects, from outside of your own pain. Feel the joy and peace that comes from letting go of the pain and seeing yourself as the greatness of all that is.

Have a wonderful week filled with visions of greatness!

If you are interested in our weekly Spiritual Group Meetings or private one-on-one sessions please visit our website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Blame Game

When we are born we are happy little bundles of love, peace and joy. We enter the world of our first role models – our parents. We learn from them how to be in the world but we don't always learn how to be happy and feel loved. They teach us what they know, what they learned from their parents. And although they love us, the lessons don't always bring a feeling of love within us.

We take on certain beliefs that we end up carrying around with us for most of our lives. And everything we say and do from that time comes from those beliefs. The beliefs often bring us pain. But we don't always want to look at our pain because it hurts and we think it will make us look less than perfect. We don't want to do something that doesn't feel good.

And even though other people are not responsible for our pain, we still point the finger outside of ourselves to blame others and make ourselves feel better. But does it really make us feel better? If we say, "I am hurting and it’s the fault of that person, or that situation," does it really take away the hurt? No, the hurt is still inside us, still not acknowledged by us because of our fear of not being approved of, or loved, or looking bad keeps us from looking inside. We think that not looking at the pain will make us feel better when in fact, the opposite is true – only by looking at the pain and the mistaken beliefs can we be free to feel the love and peace within.

When we blame others we are in denial of the pain that we are feeling, the mistaken beliefs that are driving us to live the way we do, to listen to the thoughts in our head and ignore that knowing within that shows us our worth.

The only way we can find our way back to the love and peace within us is to look inside at what we are feeling and the belief that is attached to this emotion. If we acknowledge the hurt and see where it comes from we can shift any experience, by being honest not only with ourselves but with the other person. Once we acknowledge our feelings, and express them, we no longer need them and they can be released. Our relationships with others can change from blame to loving compassion for ourselves and the other person.

If we are in a situation where someone has treated us in a way that triggers an emotion in us, such as anger, fear or hurt, we can blame the other person for treating us badly or we can look at the feeling and attached belief it has brought up for us and see that we allow ourselves to be treated this way to reinforce our belief. For example, being bullied by someone reinforces the belief that we are victims. If we let go of the belief that we are victims, we can stand up for ourselves and speak our truth from a loving heart with the person who is bullying, shifting the experience for ourselves.

When you find yourself in a position where you want to blame another person or situation for your pain, be aware of the pain you are feeling, look at what belief it is attached to and question if you need this belief any longer. Be aware of your part in the experience and how you can shift it for yourself and perhaps the other person.

Have a wonderful week of awareness of all that is within you!

If you are interested in our weekly Spiritual Group Meetings or private one-on-one sessions please visit our new website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Guilt

There are two ways through which we can experience guilt. One is when we feel we have been bad by doing something that was wrong (a judgment) and the second is when we believe that we are responsible for another person's pain.

When we are young we learn what is appropriate and inappropriate behaviour. But we're usually taught in a way that we are made to feel like bad little boys and girls if we behave in inappropriate ways. If we show our anger, we are told we are naughty or bad. If we are mean to someone or cause them pain we are told that good little girls or boys don't act this way.

These lessons help to set up our belief system and we go through our lives believing that certain things we do make us bad people. And because of this belief, we learn all about guilt. We feel guilty because we have caused someone else pain, or we have not done something that we were supposed to do and so on.

When we listen to the belief that comes from the thinking mind and not to the knowingness within, we will feel guilt. The moment we act from the demands of the mind (ego) we are disconnecting from the knowingness, the peace and love within to move into chaos.

If we act from that peaceful, loving and open heart, we cannot feel anything but peace.

The second experience of guilt is when we believe that we are responsible for another person's pain. This is a mistaken belief. We all carry our own pain. No one else is responsible for this pain. They cannot bring pain upon us. They can trigger the belief that brings up our pain but they cannot cause it.

So you might say, "If that is the case then that means we can all go around being nasty to others and not ever really have to be responsible for our behaviour." But this is also not true. What it does mean is that if we say or do something that brings up another person's pain, it's not our fault because the pain didn't come from us. We can, however, be compassionate for the other person's pain while realizing that we cannot fix the pain for them.

If we act from a place of peace and love, we can create a safe place for the other person to feel whatever pain is arising. If we act from a place of pain ourselves and it brings up another person's pain, then it is a good message to ourselves that we need to look at the pain we are feeling and understand why we behaved as we did. And the other person's pain is for them to look at.

If we are carrying guilt inside us from past experiences, we can look at it and the belief that is connected to it. We can see where we might have treated someone without respect or love, trace it back to the belief, let go of the mistaken belief and forgive ourselves for whatever it is we feel we have done wrong.

This week, take a look at any experiences (and I'm sure we all have plenty!) in which you feel guilt arise in you. Look at the reasons why you feel the guilt and try to be aware of the belief that is the root of this guilt. Forgive yourself! Feel your connection to the love and peace within.

Have a great guilt-free week!

If you are interested in our weekly Spiritual Group Meetings or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at http://www.bettinagoodwin.com/

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Need to Be Right

A Course in Miracles says, "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" We sometimes think that proving ourselves right will make us happy. And it does for about a second. And then what happens? We continue to search for that happiness and off we go trying to prove we’re right somewhere else. But being right and being happy don’t go together. It’s a choice we make.

The need to be right is usually connected to a belief we have about ourselves. And in trying to be right, we are reinforcing that belief. We are looking for the evidence that the belief we hold is valid and doesn’t need to be looked at and questioned.

But the times when we find ourselves needing to be right are good times to look inside and find out what belief is attach to this need. Is the belief true? Do we still need this belief? Can we let it go?

We often believe that being wrong is a weakness and makes us vulnerable to attack. We can only feel attacked if we believe that there is something in us to be attacked, that we are not worthy of the love and peace that is available to us. Sometimes being vulnerable can have the opposite effect of what we think it will. It can sometimes break down the barriers in relationships, can bring someone to their compassion and love.

There are times when this may not happen as well. Times when we may be attacked when we choose to express our vulnerability. These are perfect times for looking inside to see what we are feeling and what belief this attack is confirming for us. Use the uncomfortable experiences of life to get rid of the junk that is keeping us from feeling connected to our love, peace and happiness.

Often we feel that being right gives us the power we need to feel good about ourselves, to feel safe and secure. We get caught up in being right so much that even when we recognize what we are doing we can’t back down for fear of looking foolish. But none of this gives us power. The power comes from being able to let go the need to be right and to connect to that place within that knows the truth of who we are – that we are not our beliefs, we are not the identity we give ourselves. We are the ageless, timeless, wisdom that is experiencing life.

This week take a look at any time when you feel you need to be right about something. Recognize and acknowledge that it is happening and look inside to see what feelings and thoughts you are experiencing. Look deeper to what belief these emotions and thoughts are pointing. Release the thoughts and feelings and shift the belief.

Have a wonderful week of beauty and wisdom.

If you are interested in our weekly Spiritual Group Meetings or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.bettinagoodwin.com