In his movie Ambition to Meaning, Wayne Dyer says that the first nine months of our lives while we are still being formed in the womb, we are in a perfect state of grace, allowing God and the Universe to do whatever is necessary to create our physical form. We let go and allow it all to happen without trying to control or change anything. We are in complete acceptance.
And then we are born into this world and our parents and eventually we, ourselves, say, "Thanks God, you did a great job. We'll take it from here." This is when our ego begins to take over and we start to learn all the beliefs of our parents, which they learned from their parents and so on and so on.
These beliefs are what we adopt as our own, and what we learn to react through as we go through our lives. We take on certain beliefs that we think will work for us. "I should behave this way." "I am a bad girl or boy if I don't behave this way." "I am not worthy of love or happiness." "My value comes from the work I do, the friends I have or the stuff I own."
All these beliefs are what drive us to do the things we do, to behave the way we do and to manifest the life we have. And for the most part, if we are not living consciously, we have no idea that this is happening.
How does this happen? Well, say we have the belief that we are not good enough. And we're at work, and our boss says to us, "You have handed in this report but it is not done correctly." We often will immediately get defensive, angry or hurt by this. Why? Because we already have this belief within that tells us we are not good enough. And this comment from our boss is confirming that belief. And from that belief come the thoughts and emotions that arise within us.
If we can become aware of the thoughts and emotions as they arise, we can then trace them back to the belief. Once we are aware of the emotions and thoughts, we can acknowledge them, allow them to come up in us and feel them fully. And in doing this we can see that the belief is no longer needed. At last we can let go of the belief.
Holding on to beliefs, suppressing emotions and dismissing thoughts can keep us in a state of suffering. It is much more painful to push the emotions back down than to allow them to come up and feel them. But we are so afraid that the opposite is true we keep them all inside, never acknowledging or questioning the belief.
There is great freedom in stepping into the pain and feeling it fully so we can release the belief that fires it. It's never fun to go through it, but knowing that there is this freedom on the other side can help us to trudge into the pain with total acceptance.
Take a look at any experience you have. If you feel totally comfortable in the experience, if it does not have any effect on you at all, then it is not touching on any beliefs. But if you feel even the tiniest bit of uncomfortableness then take a look at what you are feeling and thinking, allow yourself to feel or think whatever comes up and then look at the belief that fuels those thoughts and emotions and see if it is still working for you. If not, let it go. For some it may be easier to look at the thoughts and for others it will be easier to look at the emotions. Either way can lead you to your beliefs.
Have a wonderful week of conscious living.
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